What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
