I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
why didn't you poke me back
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
