you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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