Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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