your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We were destined to go to rehab together
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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