you mean i was at the winter classic?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
