You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
