I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
