I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
