The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
