Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
