One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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