your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
