Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
