cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
