My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I love having hate sex.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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