Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
