You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
