Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
