oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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