I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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