tell your sister to shave her snatch
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
