Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
