i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
