Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
