When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I smell stomach acid.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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