Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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