"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
