Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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