I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
