Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My butt remains clenched, sir.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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