Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How does one acquire holy water?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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