so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
