did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
