I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
