I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
