You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
