What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
