i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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