small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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