how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize