i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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