i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
