i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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