She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
