I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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