Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
