oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
