M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
