this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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