she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
