everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
