No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
