you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Randomize
