since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
