you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
