they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
