we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
