apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
