"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
