p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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