I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
