He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
