super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I think i got beer on your cat.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
