Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
