Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
